AGAINST THE ODDS - A PNG LOVE STORY FROM THE 80s

Many of us that grew up in the 90s had seen and used payphones and even received hand-written letters through mail or from human messengers (if it’s from a secret friend).

In the days, when our parents were growing up, it was love at the first sight and then through research, it leads on to intimate nightouts at the village disco or church gathering and eventually some of our bigger brothers and sisters were born.

It wasn’t an easy task, one has to go through several councelling process until they are fit and proper to start their own families.

Here is an example shared by a friend as tribute to her late mum.

On January 15^th 1985, two people who'd only been communicating briefly with each other via the telephone, met for the first time (in person) at (the then) Jacksons Domestic Airport, Port Moresby -and now they "warn" us about "phone friends". Keep in mind, they had so many things going against them prior this meet.

There were no mobile phones back then and travelling off to find a working public landline was her means of getting in touch. HE was 15years older than her, had previously married twice and had five children from those two previous marriage.

He is a one “strongpla blut” Markham in Morobe and she was from Ahi mix Central and resides in her hometown in Lae and he lives in Port Moresby.

They’ve never met in person, but were set up by his friends and her cousins – so maybe relying on relatives to “matchmake” wouldn’t be so bad afterall.

So here they are at Jacksons airpoirt with nothing but a name,a nd physical description of what they’d be wearing – he was too chicken so he brought a mate of his to come “scout” on his behalf. Needless to say when he realised who she was after the throng of people pilled through, he knew  “em win pinis” – she was a stunner.

Her first impressions of him in person? (Translated to English)

"If I'd known he'd already had a head full of white/grey hair --even if he was just in his early 30s --I'd have not even gotten on that plane."

Anyways fast forward a year later, on January 14th 1986 (a day shy of their 1 year anniversary), they welcomed their first biological child together, in addition to their little boy and girl: a daughter --who now describes herself as a bit of a "nutter.”

His work and their shared passion for sport (particularly basketball) brought them many friends and experiences; from the Highlands to the islands of Papua New Guinea, they travelled with their small brood.

They went on to have 2 other children (a girl and boy), and 4 grandchildren, in addition to the growing and thriving Joses tribe (which is alot), despite the surprising death of their eldest daughter in 1998, which scarred them, but didn't entirely break them.

January 15^th 2018, would've been 33 years together, Samuel Ancheng and Judy Rebecca Pono Joses.

Their first daughter Fredah wrote, “We don't know why you were called so early HOME, Judy, but we thank you for the life you and Samuel built for yourselves, each other, your children, and everyone you loved You taught these people so many things, that are invaluable --like having the courage to pursue "love" when you know it's right (no matter the odds.)

Thank you, mum and dad for everything. Blessed belated anniversary in Heaven, mum.We infinitely love you both’

Fredah 

(Your first daughter whom you never got to name "Stephanie") 

This story is aimed at reminding today’s generation that love is not just a feeling. Love is not just about the beauty of the eye. Fullfilling the real meaning of love in marriages is not just about sex and having kids. It is all about giving your best for someone, it is a sacrifice that not a lot kids these days would wanna know about.

Love is not what we see on social media or the attention we get with materialistic value. It is sacred as in the heart itself, wrapped in the centre of our body as a vital organ for survival.

Today communications technologies have improved. We can see and hear our loved ones from the day we make contact until we depart this earth.

Countless teenage relationships have been forged on social networks. Needless to say, there is no control and no councelling like back in the days of our parents.

We take love as fun, making friends on Facebook, sends a messages to someone, go out on a drinking spress, a night stand, a baby is born and there we have a teenage couple without any financial backing to support their small family.

Hope we learnt something form this story.

Additional Story and Picture Courtesy of Fredah Joses